The Untapped Goldmine of Making Friends in Your Professional Network

So, here’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot – the challenge of making new friends as we get older. It’s not like when we were kids, able to make a new buddy just by sharing a toy. Now, we’re in the thick of life, maybe even past the halfway point, and suddenly finding people we connect with feels like a massive task. You look around and realize the friends you’ve had for years don’t quite fit into your life anymore. It’s a strange and unsettling feeling.

But I’ve stumbled upon a potential solution that might seem a bit unconventional at first: turning to your business associates for friendship. Yes, the people you’re emailing, meeting, and collaborating with on projects could potentially be your next close friends.

Here’s the thing. Working together builds a foundation of trust. You rely on each other for professionalism, punctuality, and collaboration. That’s a solid base to start from. Plus, you’ve got at least one thing in common already – your work. It’s a natural icebreaker.

I remember being told once that friendships should offer mutual benefits. It might sound transactional, but it’s not about using people. It’s about supporting each other. If there’s no give and take, then what’s the point? This perspective makes business associates a logical pool to fish for new friends from.

However, a word of caution when it comes to clients. It’s entirely possible to form friendships here too, but you’ve got to navigate these waters carefully. Establish boundaries to prevent any misunderstandings about the nature of your relationship. It’s essential to maintain professionalism while being open to genuine connections.

So, if you’re feeling a bit isolated or simply recognize the need for new friendships in your life, why not look around your professional circle? There might be potential friends right under your nose. Just remember, clear boundaries are key to building lasting friendships.

Catch you later, and remember, keep an open mind. Your next great friend might just be a conference call away.

Flipping Roles: My Journey from Son to Caregiver

Hey everyone, today I’m hitting you with a real-talk post, something I’ve been living for the last decade. It’s a bit of a “listen to your own advice, Cliff” moment. That saying about going from being taken care of to taking care of others? It’s the real deal, no joke. Let me break it down for you.

Back in 2014, my mom had a stroke. It hit her hard, messing with her brain to where simple stuff like math, keeping track of time, or jotting down notes became a maze for her. She can walk, talk, and think, but those basic tasks? They’re a struggle. Fast forward to now, 2024, and I’m realizing I’ve been in this caregiver role for a whole ten years. My mom’s 76, and looking ahead, we might be in this for another decade.

Here’s the kicker: Mom doesn’t have the cash for fancy private care, so we’re crossing fingers for Medicaid to back us up. Didn’t mention before, but her knee’s a wreck—arthritic, swollen like a grapefruit, thanks to a car crash when she was younger. Doctors say knee replacement’s on the table, but it’s a long road: pull the pin from her femur, let that heal, then tackle the knee, followed by more healing and therapy. That’s a mountain of a challenge for someone her age.

Selling her house to pay for a nursing home? Did the math. Best case, that’s a 5-6 year solution before we’re back to square one, hoping Medicaid steps in. If we’d thought ahead and snagged a long-term care plan, we wouldn’t be sweating it now.

So here’s the deal, as I see it: You’re born, your parents got your back for a couple of decades, then it flips. Suddenly, you’re the one looking out for them. If you’re smart, you’ll get that long-term care policy sorted early. Don’t be like me, learning the hard way. We plan for our kids, stash away savings for retirement, but planning for our parents? Slips through the cracks.

Take it from someone who’s living it: The care cycle’s a full circle. Get ahead of it, and make sure you’re ready when it’s your turn to step up.

How I’m going to #BankBlack without frustrations

I’ve been trying to #BankBlack for at least a few years now. I say trying because no one ever tells you how difficult it is. There aren’t that many black owned banks. The few that are around have very few branches and aren’t that modern. In addition to that, their websites aren’t as cutting edge and as feature rich as the leading banks are. It’s understandable that they are behind the curve. And I don’t mind being behind the curve if it means putting my money in an institution that would lend money to me without going through an obstacle course when I found that perfect house or had a perfect business plan that just required funding. It’s the ideal solution, right? You put your money there and the bank puts the money back into the community …In theory at least. I began my search for googling black banks and came across a site that had a listing of all of the black owned banks. I found one in Atlanta but the nearest branch wasn’t that close to me and when I tried to open an account online it wasn’t all that easy. So, I ended up going with OneUnited bank which is supposed to be the largest black bank in the country. Signing up for an account online was pretty easy. They didn’t have any local branches but they had an ATM agreement that allowed me to get cash from machines that weren’t too far away. I transferred some money into the account. Enough to escape the monthly service fee and any other miscellaneous fees. The debit card came in the mail and it was gorgeous but I had no use for it since my main account was with another national bank. After about a year of the money just sitting there I finally found a use for the debit card and tried to make a purchase. The card didn’t work. I know the card was activated because I had made a small transaction when I first got it just to see if it worked. Very annoying! I called the toll-free number on the back of the card which was an infinite loop of automated prompts. I could not get any one on the phone and then eventually gave up. I found out that they outsourced their call centers to some third party that is probably just taking their money and not serving their customers. Sigh! I’ve been transferring money out of the account and now the account is down to virtually nothing as I found the account having a lot of problems. I’m pretty sure those are growing pains of most black banks and I’m still willing to give them a shot. Especially since I have some plans in the future that will requiring borrowing money and I would love to deal with a black owned bank. I’m rambling.

 

But I say all of that to say, I believe I found a way that I can deal with a black bank that doesn’t have many branches, or a horrid website, or not many accessible ATMs, or a website that’s not worth a damn. This starts with a story so bear with me. A few weeks ago, I had to take my mom to the doctor. Upon leaving I was prompted to pay a co-pay for my mom. I was reaching for my wallet and noticed that my debit card was missing. Instantly it sent me into a panic. The receptionist who was handling the transaction scolded me. An older Indian woman she was with a full set of silver locks. “You use a debit card for transactions son?” “I would never, I tell my children never use a debit card. And even if they give you one give it back!” “I use my credit card and pay everything back before the bill comes.” I used another card to pay and when I realized that my wife had the card and I had gotten a chance to think things through I thought she might be on to something. This wasn’t the first time I had gotten this advice. I know of another young black couple that do this and most of their air travel is paid for with flight miles accumulated from a credit card that they pay all their bills with and pay right back. This was the first time the information sunk in. First, because my debit card can’t be defrauded if I don’t have one. And Second, because I would be building my credit by using my available balance and paying it right back. The percentage of credit used shouldn’t be changed since I’m paying it before the bill comes anyhow. I think I cracked the code. Recap: 1) Deposit my money into my #BankBlack account. 2) Pay all my mortgage, utilities, etc using X credit card. 3) Pay credit card using my banks bill pay so the payment is accepted before they issue the bill.

 

I’m going to try this… Here goes…

Birthday Blessings

In an effort to eat healthier and preserve what health I may have left I have decided to go vegetarian for a little while. It has been working out so far. The “I need meat” rage hasn’t kicked in yet. It has been about three weeks so far. I made this awesome meatless burrito yesterday. Continue reading

Summer 2015

Summer was awesome this year. Almost forgot about the stress that last year and the beginning of this year brought. After all the many trials things finally started to calm down and normalcy had returned.

After a very grueling tax season, and the lengthy packing for mom’s house of which I had to do alone… I was fortunate enough to have to deal with two closings on the same day. One for the sale of mom’s house in Brooklyn and another for her house in Georgia. One closing was dependent on the other. Needless to say between the builders, buyers, banks, attorneys, moving people, and real estate agents all involved I almost got an ulcer. I almost cracked under the pressure but God had a plan that I was unaware of. It all worked out. Crisis averted. The house sold, we closed on time, I didn’t lose my deposit for the new house. Continue reading